Why we're here
by morethanwordscansay
Summary: One shot! Just something I couldn't get out of my head after re-watching How the Ghosts Stole Christmas. Hope you enjoy! Please review! MSR I do not own anything.
Scully

I practically ran to my apartment as soon as my legs left the confines of the car. I opened my door as fast as I could which as usual, proved to be an incredibly difficult task as I fumbled with my keys in my haste. I shut the door behind me and leant against it for a moment catching my breath as memories from what had transpired earlier in the evening began to work their way through my head.

I shook my head in disbelief as I walked into my bedroom, depositing my keys beside my phone on the way. I lay down on my bed as I attempted to rationalise all that had happened. It couldn't be real? Could it? I wasn't shot, Mulder wasn't shot. It was all fake. It was all in our heads right? My hand subconsciously reached for my stomach, the feel of the bullet piercing through my skin so real. I felt the pain, the blood. I had struggled for breath as I crawled from the room. But now there was no evidence that any of that had actually happened at all. It was purely a figment of my imagination created under extreme psychologically stimulating circumstances.

That man and that woman weren't real or even there at all. Were they? Why did I go there in the first place? That was the ultimate question and one I knew the answer to. Somewhere along the way we had both become so miserable that one of us jumps at any chance they get to follow some ridiculous lead and the other follows along. Talk about co-dependency.

How had it come to this? One saying jump and the other jumping. We have become so afraid of admitting how we truly feel that we have found ourselves in this ridiculous charade of follow the leader afraid that one of us will leave the other behind.

Maybe the feelings aren't even real. Maybe it is just because I'm lonely and I'm just making all this up in my head.

But mostly I'm just afraid that the feelings aren't reciprocated and that like what happened tonight, it is all imaginary.

I sigh heavily and squeeze my eyes together. This is ridiculous. Why can't I just tell him so we can stop this madness?

I stand up, collect my discarded keys and go back to my car. It's time to clear this mess up.

Mulder

I sit on my lounge with my brow furrowed thinking about the events of the night. After much deliberation I come to the conclusion that the ghosts had been right about pretty much everything. Especially when it came to me and Scully. I had been feeling lonely and I missed her so I jumped at the story when I discovered it. But now it all seems so stupid.

I love her. Why couldn't I just go for it? What was holding me back? I'm already terrified that she will leave me what difference will it make? I put my head in my hands as I hear a knock at my door. I stand up and stare at it curiously for a moment before another knock sounds. I walk over and open it wearily before I see Scully and open it fully.

She looks tired and confused. "Can I come in?"

I grab her shoulder and lead her through the door, closing it behind her.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing Christmas things with your family?"

"Mulder, all of that was in our heads right?"

"Must have been."

She nods uncertainly as I go to stand in front of her.

"Mulder, I know it was all fake and was just a response to all the adrenalin, but they were right weren't they? About our real reason for being there tonight."

My breath catches as I realise what she is talking about as our eyes meet.

"We weren't really there looking for ghosts were we Mulder? Just like we go to work every day not looking for Aliens and vampires and demons. They've just becoming an excuse, a buffer. They are just what we hide behind." She looks down, opening and closing her mouth as she struggles to find the right words to voice the confession that we have both held imprisoned for so long.

"Scully, what are you saying?"

Finally her eyes return to mine, they are filled with fear and determination.

"I'm saying that while we're chasing the paranormal we're ignoring the biggest x file we have ever had. Which is us, Mulder. We're unexplainable. I mean you're chasing ghosts, pulling me along hoping all the while that I won't leave you and I'm chasing you, afraid that you don't actually need me."

I could see her swallow as nervousness took over her. I wanted to reassure her but I couldn't figure out what to say. I hadn't been expecting this at all.

I ran my fingers through my hair as she started to walk past me to the door, taking my silence that she was wrong and that the feelings were in fact one sided. I quickly turned and grabbed her arm, spinning her to face me, her head was down but that didn't stop me from seeing the tears that had formed in her eyes.

"You're right Scully. I am terrified that you'll leave me. I want to stop the government from doing tests on people and covering things up but the truth is I stopped looking for aliens after I met you. I'm lonely Scully and I tried to fill the void through obsession but then you walked into my office and showed me that there is more to life than emptiness, than darkness. And over the years I have used every single excuse I could just to be with you because as soon as you would leave I would feel empty again."

I cupped her cheek gently with one hand, raising her chin so that she would look at me. Tears had spilled silently down her cheeks and I wiped them away with my thumb.

"No matter how far into the darkness we have gone, you have always been the light."

I leant forward slowly and pressed my lips softly against hers before our foreheads came to rest together and our arms wound their way securely around the other eliminating all space between us. I kiss her temple and her head leans into my chest.

"I hear that there is a poltergeist in the building across the street if you want to check it out."

"You don't need excuses anymore Mulder."

"Good." I press my lips to hers once again. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

She raises her eyebrows at me.

"Just sleep Scully I promise." I say smiling as I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. "Unless you want to do something else. I was serious about the poltergeist."


End file.
